Prologue: Opening Theme Song IntroEdit
Male Animatronic Voices: The Simpsons
Chief Wiggum: Season 26
[The Simpsons Theme Music Playing In Background]
Jimbo and Kearney saw off the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in front of the town square, and the head falls off on Ralph, about to eat an ice cream treat.
The scene goes over to Springfield Elementary School, where Bart is writing I will not horse around in class 29 times, then the school bell rings, and he gets outta school on his skateboard, and lands right into a pile of leaves Groundskeeper Willie had just finished raking up.
Bart jumps right outta the leaf pile and Barney shows up.
Barney: [Belches Lightly]
The next scene goes over to Homer getting ready to head back home with a uranium bar stuck on his back.
In the background, Lenny and Carl are putting up the number 3 over the number 2 on a sign that says Days Without An Accident.
However, they both fall off the ladder.
[Steam Whistle Sound]
Marge, Maggie, Patty and Selma are checking out with the groceries.
The items on the conveyor belt include Tomacco juice and Mr. Sparkle power clean detergent.
A box of Krusty-O's is scanned, and the total amount on the register changes from $236.60to $243.26, which means the price of the cereal is $6.66.
Maggie is mistakenly scanned too, which doubles the register total to $486.52, and she is mistakenly packaged with the groceries.
Marge looks mildly concerned but smiles just as Maggie pops outta the bag.
Maggie sees Baby Gerald and angrily shakes her right fist at him just as Gerald does the exact same.
During Mr. Largo's music class, more characters are shown in the orchestra.
Recognizable characters include Wendell, Database, Martin, Jessica, Richard, Lewis, Janey, Milhouse, Sherri and Terri.
[Lisa Playing Intro On Saxophone]
Right after Homer discards the uranium bar, it lands on Otto.
Otto, not knowing what it is, eats it.
Bart skateboards by and turns the corner with a muted whoosh.
He skateboards past Sideshow Bob, Helen, Apu and his octuplets, Moe, Comic Book Guy, Disco Stu, Crazy Cat Lady and Chief Wiggum, who waves his night stick.
Hans Moleman peeks outta the sewers in the middle of the street, but Marge's car slams it shut just as it passes by.
Grampa is seen in the passenger seat with Maggie in the middle.
[Car Horn Honking]
Homer is standing by the garage, and Lisa scoots by past him on her bicycle.
The other car pulls up......
Homer runs around into the garage for safety.
Mordecai (Regular Show), Lois (Family Guy), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Steve (American Dad!), and Maggie (The Simpsons) sit on the couch. The real Homer, Marge, Lisa and Bart appear, causing the crossover impostors to run. Then the whole real family (with the exception of Maggie) sit on the couch.
[Theme Song Intro Ends]
Scene 1: Outside Aztec TheaterEdit
Bart is skateboarding around Springfield on his skateboard, and stops by a familiar movie poster that reads Planet of the Brain Dead III.
Bart: "Whoa, Planet of the Brain Dead III, I must tell Lisa, Milhouse and the others."
Bart skateboards on his way to Springfield Elementary School.....
Scene 2: Springfield Elementary SchoolEdit
Milhouse: "Wow, I wonder where Bart is."
Lisa: "Here he comes right now!"
Bart stops by them on his skateboard.
Bart: "Hey, you guys!"
Martin: "What seems to be going on around here, Bart?"
Bart: "Planet of the Brain Dead III opens on weekends!"
Sherri: "You mean another 1 with Baron Brain Dead?"
Terri: "The action movie hero?"
Nelson: "Is this some sort of a joke?"
Bart: "This is no joke, Nelson, it's a movie on the big screen."
Ralph: "Alright, a 3rd installment of the Planet of the Brain Dead film series, at last, my dream and vision has come true."
Meanwhile, while going into the now new Mrs. Flanders' 4th grade classroom......
Bart: "Alright, stand aside, citizens, nobody gets in the way of Baron Brain Dead."
Rod: "What's he speaking about?"
Martin: "He wants to take the criminals down 1 by 1."
Bart: "I was watching The Krusty Show all weekend, and I almost nearly forgot."
Sherri: "Don't worry about it, Bart."
Terri: "It happens to all of us all the time."
Bart: "Yeah right, and for once, it never happened to me."
[School Bell Ringing]
Edna walks in and enters the classroom.
Bart: "Uh oh, didn't mean to rub it in."
Bart: "I've never been so proud to see Mrs. Flanders."
Tiffany: "Good morning, students, I hope all of you had a restful weekend, now if we could just begin our lesson--AAAH! this book's covered with glitter!"
[All 4th Grade Students Laughing]
Milhouse: "Remember when Baron Brain Dead fought the giant monster that was attacking the city streets?"
Martin: "Asta La Vista, creepy!"
Bart: "I don't wanna be a terrible influence or anything, but can we please speak about something else besides Planet of the Brain Dead III this time?"
Albert: "Uh, alright, Bart, sure thing."
Jeffrey: "Anybody else?"
Meanwhile in the school cafeteria lunchroom...........
Ralph: "Uh, my peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich is a bit soggy."
Martin: "I believe that it's gotta do with the relative humidity created by your lunch bag's thermal properties."
Bart: "I need to watch the end of the finals where--"
Jimbo: [Voice Off Screen] "You joker!"
Jimbo: "Can't you do anything right?" Bart: "But I --"
Kearney: "Well, maybe you didn't hear him."
Jimbo: "I said, you joker, can't you do anything right?"
Bart: "Never underestimate me again!"
Bart: "I'm gonna go play with a kickball or something I prefer."
Nelson: "Look out, a giant flood of beef gravy!"
Meanwhile, back outside during recess time.....
Bart: "Oh man, if I ever listen to another line from that movie, I'm gonna--"
Dolph: "Have no fear, Baron Brain Dead is here!"
Bart: "Aw man."
Janey: "Mr. Mayor, there's an emergency going on around down town!"
Bart: "I am so out of it."
Martin: "You'll never escape, criminals!"
Bart: "I've gotta see that movie this evening."
Fade to a black screen........
Television Announcer: "The Simpsons will be right back, right after this commercial break."
Television Announcer: "And now, back to The Simpsons, on Fox Network."
Scene 3: The Simpson family's houseEdit
Marge: (from inside the house) "Bart, you can't see that movie this evening."
Cut to inside the house.......
Bart: "What the crap? but, Mom, Dad, it's Howard Johnson's latest and greatest film in history."
Homer: "Howard Johnson? all that guy does is crash around through metal walls in that Baron Brain Dead costume, I wouldn't waste any of my good cash to see a grown man horsing around."
Bart: "What if I go alone and waste my good cash?"
Marge: "Bart, that movie is rated NYK12, no young kid under 12, admitted without a grownup, and that includes you."
Homer: "Good thing too, I remember the last time we let you and Lisa see 1 of his movies, uh, what was it called, Marge?"
Marge: "Planet of the Brain Dead II."
Bart: "You're going down, street thugs!"
Homer: "That does it, Bart, the last thing your mother, sister and I need is to have you driving us crazy with lines from this new action movie!"
Bart: "But, Mom, Dad, all of the other young kids have seen Planet of the Brain Dead III."
Homer: "If all of the other young kids acted like Baron Brain Dead, would you do that too?"
Bart: "Well, if that's all they’re gonna speak about afterwards, right?"
Homer: "Well, son, it doesn't matter what everybody else is speaking about, you can't go this evening.”
Marge: "Oh, Bart, we're only doing this 'cause we love and care about you, and we don't want your fragile young mind warped by other people who do anything for a lot of action and laughter."
Bart: [Sighs Depressingly] “I would tell that to all of my warped friends at school."
Scene 4: Back on the Springfield Elementary School playgroundEdit
Bart sees all of the other students with Planet of the Brain Dead III merchandise.
Bart: "Aw man, I might as well spend the rest of my school day indoors."
Bart: "Wait 1 single minute, that's it!"
Meanwhile back in the Springfield Elementary School hallways…….
Bart: "Database, that dude is my final hope."
Database: "Good afternoon, Bart."
Bart: "Good afternoon, Database."
Database: "What a rare and expected visit it is to have you around me.”
Bart: "Well, actually, I'm trying to get away from all of those young kids out there, you see? they have all gone crazy over this Planet of the Brain Dead III' thing, so I was kind of hoping I could hang around down here 'til it dies down a bit, would that be pure awesome with you guys?"
Database: (holding out a Baron Brain Dead action figure) "You'll never get away with it!"
Bart: “Oh no, not you too!”
Bart exits the private study room.
Bart: "Alright, that does it, Lisa, I don’t care what our mom and dad say, I will see that movie this evening."
Lisa: "But, Bart, Mom and Dad said not to."
Bart: "Oh, they don't scare me."
Scene 5: Back home at the Simpson family's houseEdit
Bart goes into his bedroom and dials the correct telephone number.
Female voice on telephone: "Hello, and thanks for calling dialaville, you have selected show times for Planet of the Brain Dead III', rated NYK12, the action film everybody's speaking about, but 1st, coming this August………"
Male voice on telephone: "Panda bears, cuddly giants of the bamboo forest, but when the bamboo's gone forever, what will they eat next?”
[Panda Bears Growling Wildly]
Male voice on cell phone: "Panda-monium, it’s what’s black and white and red all over."
Bart: "Come on, come on, hurry up, man."
The scene cuts to Marge reading a magazine while sitting in the armchair.
Bart goes over to the front door, but Marge stops him.
Marge: "And where do you think you're going?"
Bart: "I'm going to.......Springfield Library, Mom."
Marge: "On a Saturday afternoon?"
Bart: "I need to read up on those panda bears, you see? they’re running outta bamboo and it might not be a good situation."
Marge: "Oh, Bart, studying on a Saturday afternon? aren’t you the best son ever?"
Bart: "Yeah right, Mom, that's me."
Scene 6: Back outside the Aztec TheaterEdit
Bart: "Excuse me, [Speaks Like 12-Year-Old Boy] excuse me, [Clears Throat] excuse me."
Bart: [Speaking Like 12-Year-Old Boy] "1 ticket, please, for a young kid way over 12."
Squeaky Voiced Teen: "What was that? I can't hear you, speak into the speaker, please."
Bart: "I uh, never mind."
Principal Skinner: [Voice Off Screen] "Here comes Baron Brain Dead."
Bart: "Principal Skinner………"
Bart: [Snaps Fingers]
Principal Skinner: "1 grownup ticket to Planet of the Brain Dead III, oh, that Howard guy’s a comic genius, I tell you, no wonder he’s counting it to the starlets."
Bart: "I’ll see you inside, Principal Skinner."
Bart: "I’m with him, you see? he’s my school principal from Springfield Elementary School.”
Squeaky Voiced Teen: "Then he makes you pay?"
Bart: "Nah, he's not that much of my most favorite school principal from Springfield Elementary School."
Squeaky Voiced Teen: "Oh well, I guess you can't choose close family or close friendship."
Bart grabs the movie theater ticket to Planet of the Brain Dead III and enters the Aztec Theater.
Baron Brain Dead: "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Baron Brain Dead!"
Gerald: (writing in his notebook) "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Baron Brain Dead."
Meanwhile back outside the Aztec Theater…………
Bart: "Yeah, alright, finally, I got every single word from that movie right here in my notebook."
Bart: "Hey, man, remember when I came in here with Principal Skinner?"
Squeaky Voiced Teen: "Yeah right, where is he?"
Bart: "Uh.......I don't know."
Bart: "There's no stopping me right now."
Bart: "Look out, here comes (he nervously sees Lisa, Maggie, Marge and Homer waiting by) Baron Brain Dead?"
Homer: "Here comes Baron Brain Dead?!? why that's just………"
Lisa: "Bart, I can't believe you never listened to any of us!"
Marge: "Bartholomew Jojo Simpson, did you just walk outta that action movie we simply forbade you from seeing?"
Bart: [Nervously] "Uh, I didn't do it?"
Scene 7: Back home in the living roomEdit
Homer: "We're very disappointed with you, Bart, you disobeyed us,and even worse, you fibbed in front of your mother."
Marge: "Why, Bart? why did you do that?"
Bart: "Aw, Mom, Dad, everybody else from school saw that action movie, being the only person who didn't, it made me feel out of it like I wasn’t, you know, pure awesome."
Marge: "Bart, there are far more important things in life than being pure awesome, like your father, sister and I being able to trust you."
Homer: "And to reinforce that notion, we're grounding you for 6 days, with no video games or television."
Bart: "Uh, am I still allowed to go to school?"
Marge: "You need to go to school, Bart."
Bart walks around upstairs to his bedroom.
Bart: "Tender, on Monday, Bart Simpson is once again the pure awesome dude in history."
Scene 8: Back at Springfield Elementary School/Mrs. Flanders' class roomEdit
Bart: "You better not be in the way of my true powers, or face the wrath of Baron Brain Dead."
Bart enters the classroom again......
Bart: "Mr. Mayor, there's a great big emergency going on around down town!"
Martin: [Clears Throat]
Milhouse: "Those are great lines, Bart, but Planet of the Brain Dead III is kind of last weeks news."
Bart: "Last week?"
Sherri: "Didn't you play video games or watch television last night, Bart?"
Bart: "Video games? television? Last night? but I got busted, I'm not allowed to play video games or watch television."
Terri: "Don't tell me you missed the world premiere of The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Movie."
Martin: "The best cartoon comedy movie ever made."
Nelson: They fight, they bite
they fight and bite and bite
fight, fight, fight
bite, bite, bite
woof, woof, woof
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Movie.......
Bart: "The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Movie, that's what I should stick with from now on."
Fade to another black screen
Dedicated to the memories of Doris Grau (1924-1995), Ron Taylor (1952-2002), George Harrison (1943-2001), Linda McCartney (1941-1998), Bob Hope (1903-2003), Johnny Carson (1925-2005), Joey Ramone (1951-2001), Johnny Ramone (1948-2004), the real Robert Goulet (1933-2007), George Carlin (1937-2008), Eartha Kitt (1927-2008), Paul Newman (1925-2008), Johnny Cash (1932-2003), the great and hilarious, Jim Varney (1949-2000) Phil Hartman (1948-1998), Michael Jackson (1958-2009), Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011), Ernest Borgnine (1917-2012) and Don Payne (1964-2013). We'll all be forever grateful.
Voice cast members creditsEdit
- Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders, Ralph Wiggum and Kearney Zzyzwicz (voices)
- Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson (voice)
- Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson (voice)
- Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson and Squeaky Voiced Teen (voices)
- Pamela Hayden as Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Database and Janey Powell (voices)
- Tress MacNeille as Jimbo Jones and Dolph Starbeam (voices)
- Russi Taylor as Sherri, Terri and Martin Prince (voices)
- Jim Cummings as Baron Brain Dead (voice)
- Jennifer Hale as Tiffany Janet Flanders (voice)
Guest star voiceEdit
- Cloris Leachman as the Female Voice on the Telephone (voice)